Hey friend! Wanna hear my story? Well, here ya go...

So I guess you might be wondering who is Elizabeth Day. Well I will start with the basics: I am a college student at Samford University in Birmingham, but I am a Nashville native. My family is made up of Mardon (the dad), Richelle (the mom), Emily (the little sis), and me, and if you haven't met them, they are my favorite group of people on this earth. I love road trips, baking, and I do believe that almost any bad day can be solved with a good cup of coffee.

Now that you know what pretty much anyone could pick up about me by looking at my instagram, let me tell you who I really am. However to do that, you have to understand who I was.

For most of my life, I think one word could sum it up: good. Most people in my life would probably say I was a good high school student, a good college student, a good daughter, a good friend, a good team member, a good sister, a good cheerleader, a good sorority girl, a good rule follower, a good decision maker, a good cook, a good role model, a good a-lot-of-things, and with all of this, I was a good Christian. And if I wasn't good at it, I could probably make you think I was-- unless it was running the mile... I have never been good at that. As good as you may have thought I was, that did not change all the "un-good" that was going on in my life. It was simply a mask. Even though I was making the exact same mistakes as the girl sitting next to me in class, you would never know that because like I said, I was "the good girl."

Even though it might not seem like it, the life of a "good girl" is very hard. I had to fight every day to do all the good things just to make sure I could still justify that I was good-- at least on the outside. For the most part, I basically assumed that is how God worked too. If I could do enough good and prove that I am a good girl, he would be pleased with me. For the most part, I could stuff all the bad things I had done down until I could almost forget it was there. Almost. 

Even though I knew God was God and I needed a relationship with Jesus because it was only through his death on the cross that I could have salvation, it didn't hold much weight and honestly, I didn't think I had that much sin for him to have to die for. I mean like I said, I was good.

Until I wasn't.

One day, everything switched. One of those pesky little sins that I had stuffed way way way down that I had kept a secret from most everyone in my life came spewing up and not just in front of me. My sin exploded in my face and in the face of some of the people around me. This was a problem. This meant that these people now had the opportunity to know something I had kept pushed down for so so long-- I was not good.

In those moments I felt like I had the curtain torn back and what was left was me fully exposed and without an identity. If the truth was that I was not really good was now exposed like that, who was I?

It was in those moments that sometimes turned into tear stained pillow cases in the early morning of a cold cement dorm room, that God began whispering to me. In the whispers, I heard new truth about my identity, "You are loved." But how?

Its not like the concept of God loving people was new to me. Like I said, I thought I had done all the things to be a good Christian before. I knew John 3:16 like every good Christian-- "For God so loved the world..." I went to church, read the Bible, knew a lot about Christianity, prayed, participated in Bible studies, led Bible studies, led worship, chose to go to a Christian school. However, my life reflected a very twisted understanding of God's love.

As much as I could go to church and hear about God's free love and grace, I believed in a love equation that I liked better.

I am good --> God loves me

Maybe I had heard in church that this wasn't true before, but honestly I liked my equation better. My equation started with "I" and ended with "me." For a while, I held up my side of the equation... until I couldn't any longer.

Slowly (and it took some time), God graciously flipped around my equation.

God loves me --> I am good

This, my friends, is a game changer-- a life changer if you will. This meant God loved me, fully knowing the stuff I had pushed deep deep down that I thought maybe he couldn't see. He allowed for it to spew to the top so that he could flip the equation around to be his equation.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

- Ephesians 2:8-9

This is what that equation means. It is because God is good and gracious that he chose me while still a sinner ("un good") to be his-- not because of my good works or that others may have perceived me as being good. It was actually in spite of all of that. This means redemption. This means grace. This means rest. This means love. This means for the first time in my life, I was truly good. 

And not because of me-- Because of Jesus.

To know who I am today is not perfect. I fight daily against my past that screams at me that hiding my mistakes is the only way to be loved-- a past that screams in my face that my mistakes make me not good. Somedays I fall to the pressure and believe that what my past is screaming might be true. However unlike before, I have freedom from staying there. 

This is when God tenderly reminds me of the truth. Once, I was not good but Jesus died for that and because he did, I now am clothed with the righteousness of Christ and that does, through holy love, make me good. 

That’s me: Elizabeth Day. The story of a sinner being loved. The story of a "good girl" for the first time becoming truly good.